so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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