Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just had sex on a roof
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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