i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
