I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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