I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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