ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
