you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
