Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
