I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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