I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
