Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
