I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
