i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
