so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Randomize
