Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
