margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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