My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
