Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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