used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
