arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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