69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
