This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
