You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
