He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
