finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
