Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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