I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
