so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
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