Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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