You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
