:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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