peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
