Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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