How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
