brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
