toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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