All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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