Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
