You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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