So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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