porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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