Actions speak louder than pants.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
