Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
