Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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