Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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