Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think I won the penis lottery.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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