Got a toothbrush?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
