i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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