You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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