i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
